What is a "yumejoshi"?

I doubt I can explain it better than any definition that is already out there. But to make it short it is a Japanese term that could be translated to "dreaming girl".

A yumejoshi is a woman who self inserts in a story to be with a fictional character that she loves. It doesn't have to be so gendered, but that is the "cliché" yumejoshi for you to make the definition more simple. They can self insert to be with one or multiple characters. It might sound similar to simple selfshipping on paper but from what I witnessed, it seems to be understood as a step further it.

Personally I am the type who stick to only one character. Not out of a place of judgment but because it would personally feel emotionally weird to me to "be" with anyone else other than Vaati.

What yumejoshi means for me

It is the better fitting and somewhat socially acceptable term for my situation. I have been through many labels and yumejoshi probably won't be the last one. In fact even this one doesn't seem strong enough. Ultimately, I think no word can ever embody the depths of my feelings for this wind sorcerer that stole my heart other than the sentence "I am in love". That's it. I am just in love, no matter the dimension.

Why I reject the term "parasocial" for fictional characters

By definition, parasocial is an adjective meaning "non reciprocated love". At first glance it would be fitting. Well, it is its usage that bothers me: oftentime it is used to describe someone in love with a famous person and them getting attached to what they think this person is. They fall in love with their personality as presented in the media, they do not know them personally. They do not know the real "them".

In the case of fictional characters, one falls in love with who they actually are: their personality, their backstory, their dreams, their motives and many more. Stories allow us to get to know the character and what makes this character themselves. It is not only one side of them that one gets to know, one actually gets to know them. You could say this is the beauty of fiction.

People are free to view it or call it however they want it, but this is something I personally wanted to get out of the way.

Why this site?

I have never really felt comfortable anywhere. Some communities are too anime waifus focused for my taste. "Fictosexual" feels like it lost all its meaning and "selfshipper" feels out of place. It feels odd to be "classified" with people who have entire lists of "F/O"s. And let's not talk about the terms "fangirl" and "simp".

I hold absolutely no animosity towards people who call themselves any of these words though. I myself regularly participate in fandom space and I have befriended some very nice people there and they probably perceive me as just a really big fangirl or selfshipper. It is not easy everyday to interact with the fandom because of the depths of my feelings, I am not going to lie to you. Sometimes it can really hurt, actually. But I do not want this to hold me back from potential beautiful encounters and maybe friendships, so I force myself to get out of my comfort zone and also to spite my own fears, because I want a peaceful life and I cannot do that if I let fear take over.

So opening up here, on a platform that I can truly make mine, I can write how I truly feel for no one and also everyone to see. I want to keep my feelings for Vaati lowkey but also to scream it on every roof top I can. I have been so secretive about my feelings for so long and I cannot take it anymore to lose myself in the mass just to not bother anyone. I know some people out there, some fans included, feel triggered by people like me. It probably triggers some type of insecurity inside them, to know that a person is entirely devoted to one of the fictional characters they like. I am by no means a psychologist but this is what seems to be the case from my own and other people-who-are-in-love-with-fictional-characters's experiences. You wouldn't believe the amount of hate and harrassment some can suffer at the hands of fans who self ship with that same character. Most of the time, their only mistake was to say that they are "non-sharing" (meaning, that they are not comfortable or not interested to see content of their fictional partner being involved with anyone else romantically). And while I know these have a bad rep, this is not an excuse to harass people who did nothing and never attacked anyone over this, which is the case of these people I know. Some people are okay with sharing, some others are not. It is as simple as that. Don't take it personally, this isn't about you.