Healing

Caution: this page will talk about trauma

Anchorage in reality

The very first step in healing oneself is facing and accepting one's truth: I haven't been the same since 2021 and that is okay. I have scars from bullying in childhood and from later in life and to which I reacted accordingly and that is okay. However what is not is letting that trauma take over my life.

I had put a boundary in place because of that, and the way other people react to it is none of my concern. However when that boundary keeps getting crossed and you cannot avoid it... It is my responsibility to change my reaction to it. Not for anyone else but for myself. People will do their people stuff. If they want to spend thousands just to get at me it is their issue, not mine, and I can only be glad I have not such a pathetic reaction when someone puts up a boundary with me. They can convince themselves of anything they want, compensate however they want but money will never buy certain things if you know what I mean.

I do not care. It is the key sentence here: I do not care. None of this is true. Pictures are NOT reality. Why should I let unreal things get at me? No one owns a character more than someone else simply because they have "more" or, forgive me my French, some other bs concepts like that. Some people will stay bitter and resentful in their corner, convincing themselves with illusions to cope. I do not want to be that person. I am currently facing my own reality and addressing my own trauma.

Copy me all you want, you will never be me. You will never have my story. Stay bitter and ill if you wish so. I will never sink at your level. I just hope these people get actual treatment for their issues.

The importance of support

I have lost people. But I had the honour to meet others, and even to be on friendly terms with people I would have NEVER considered being on friendly terms with before! Getting out of your shell after being convinced that it is better to isolate yourself, to block people on sight, feels so good. You never know what you miss. I met someone wonderful, who truly appreciates my qualities, listened to me and helped me throughout my recent rough patches. As to casual self shippers or OC shippers, they are barely even an issue to me anymore. To ME. The non sharing "yume" for over a decade. I had written in another page that I didn't want to live in fear anymore. But that is on a whole other level. One even understood my issues and stood up for me in tough times, and I am so grateful to her.